How to Say I'm Sorry & Express Forgiveness...The Postage Stamp Method

Consider the postage stamp. The postage stamp feels sorrow and pain when it does not reach its destination on time and it is sorry for the delay. When the letter or package finally arrives it in effect is saying, “I am sorry for the delay, please forgive me.”

Why is it so hard for some people to apologize?

The magazine, The Watchtower states, “One reason why a person hesitates to apologize may be the fear of rejection. Troubled by the thought of being given the cold shoulder, he may not express how he really feels. Why, the person who was hurt might totally avoid the offender, making reconciliation very difficult.

“A lack of concern for other people’s feelings may be another reason why some hesitate to apologize. They may reason, ‘Apologizing will not undo the blunder I have already made.’ Still others hesitate to say that they are sorry because of the possible consequences. They wonder, ‘Will I be held responsible and be asked to make compensation?’ However, the biggest hurdle to admitting a mistake is pride. A person who is too proud to say “I am sorry” may in essence conclude, ‘I don’t want to lose face by admitting my blunder. That would weaken my position.’

For whatever reason, many find words of apology hard to utter. But is it really necessary to apologize? What are the benefits of apologizing?”

“Apologies are powerful. They resolve conflicts without violence, repair schisms between nations, allow governments to acknowledge the suffering of their citizens, and restore equilibrium to personal relationships.” So wrote Deborah Tannen, a best-selling author and sociolinguist at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C.

 It is important to be sincere when extending an apology. If we are sincere, our apology will include an admission of any wrong, a seeking of forgiveness, and an effort to undo damage to the extent possible.

Forgiveness is the act of pardoning an offender; ceasing to feel resentment toward him because of his offense and giving up all claim to recompense. Forgiveness is about empowering yourself. Best-selling author Brendon Burchard says, “Forgiving is so simple. It literally is a decision. No justification or cause has to happen, and forgiving does not have to do anything with accepting the other person’s behavior, approving of it, justifying it, rationalizing it or understanding it.”

Medical research has shown that when we hold onto resentment and fail to apologize and forgive, we are only making ourselves sick, literally.  Such negative emotions can rob us of happiness, restrict our life, and make us miserable. They can also pose a serious health risk. A report in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology, by Dr. Yoichi Chida and Professor of Psychology Andrew Steptoe, concluded: “The current findings suggest a harmful association between anger and hostility and CHD [coronary heart disease].” When we forgive others we are in essence healing ourselves.

In addition, according to a publication of the Mayo Clinic, it say, “If you don’t practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pay most dearly.” Forgiveness, the article explains, can result in “healthier relationships, greater spiritual and psychological well-being, less anxiety, stress, hostility, lower blood pressure, fewer symptoms of depression and lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse.”

So make the decision today that you will let go of whatever is hurting you. You are in the driver’s seat. You have the power to stop the pain that you are experiencing.

And there you have it. If you want to go deeper with me on this subject, sign up for my Free Academy Training. 

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